The New Indian Bride is Now The New Indian Wife December 28, 2011

“Did The New Indian Bride end up happily ever after?  * Is her Leading Man still making her heart pitter patter? * She survived her first year of marriage but is she thriving in her new role as wife? * Will The New Indian Bride keep writing?

The answer to all of these questions is yes! 

I stepped away from daily blogging over the last few months because the demands of a new job simply did not afford me the time to write.  However, without the writing, without the blogging, without my readers I was simply lost!  I was missing my center, my north, my reason for being!  Okay, the blog may not have been my reason for being but it quickly became a significant part of who I was and without it in my life I just didn’t feel the same. 

But all of that is about to change. 

I am pleased to announce that starting on January 1st The New Indian Bride will become The New Indian Wife!  While wedding invitations, creative centerpieces and fabulous lenghas will always excite me it is time I leave the bride in me behind and begin chronicling my experience as The New Indian Wife.  So get ready for all the juicy happenings of a real life Indian marriage delivered straight to your inbox every week! 

If you don’t want to miss any of the action then subscribe to the new blog at www.NewIndianWife.com and follow @thenewindianwife on Twitter. 

Shaadi Ke baad kya haal hota?  You are about to find out!

I am Survivor (and you can be too!) June 13, 2011

Please rise in front of your laptop, Ipad, Iphone, Blackberry or in front of whatever smart device you are reading this post on and give me a round of applause.  Yes, that’s right.  I would like you to clap for me, preferably loudly and preferably for at least 20 seconds.  If you would like to shout things like “Hollaaaa” or “You Go Girl!” or “Shaava! Shaava!” into your smart device then please feel free.  Why all the clapping and shouting you ask?  Well as of today, I have been married for 366 days.  That means, I have officially (and barely) survived my first year of marriage. 

Since I am still in the thick of it I am not quite ready to be reflective on my experiences.  I will say that I was completely unprepared and naive about what it means to be married, the types of challenges married couples face and how interesting it can be to integrate the lives of two different people from two very different places.

But with my 366 days under my belt, I can say that the number one thing I have learned in my first year of marriage is in order to feel satisfied and happy in a marriage you have to feel 100% happy and fulfilled with yourself.  If you feel 100% fulfilled in yourself then you will feel like giving 100% to your marriage.  If you are not happy with yourself – not happy with your clothes, not happy with the way you spend your time, not happy with your job, not happy with some component of your life – then changing, adapting and adjusting to the other person seems monumentally more difficult. 

So to all The Newly Married Indian Brides out there, stay true to who you are and stay satisfied in yourself.  If you are satisfied with yourself you will be more able to give, to understand, to reflect and to enjoy this thing called marriage.

366 days and counting….

Today I Resolve… June 11, 2011

The New Indian Bride is finally taking the plunge.  The blog has been a fabulous venue for me to write to my heart’s content about a topic that has consumed my life for a quite some time – weddings!  But there is a larger story brewing inside of me so it is time to finally take the plunge and start work on my first novel.  Soooo here goes. 

Today in this here coffee shop on this Saturday the 11th of June, I formally resolve that my first venture into the world of novel-writing shall officially commence! 

Wish me luck!

This New Indian Bride is a Married Mango – Guest Post for Two Mangoes June 9, 2011

 

The New Indian Bride is super excited about today’s post!  I was asked by my friends at Two Mangoes, a refreshingly modern online South Asian dating site, to be a guest blogger.  It took about two seconds for me to say “Yes!” and another two seconds to come up with my topic – dating advice from a married mango.  For all The New Indian Brides-to-be, this one is for you.  Enjoy!

***

This mango isn’t looking for love.  I found it, dated it, left it, returned to it and then I married it. 

It’s been nearly a year since I married My Leading Man but I am still not able to fully distance myself from all the years as a singleton, dating, searching, longing, hoping and praying to find love.  I was single for 12 years before I met my now husband (16 if you count high school).  There were lots of fellas along the way but my one true love eluded me until my 30s. 

I did it all in the hopes of finding Prince Charming.  I doled up in short skirts and low tops hoping he would pick that one random night to find me at that one random club.  I let Indian Aunties tell me about their teetotaler nephew working in “computers”.  I visited pundits to tell me my fate.  Showed the lines on my hands to anyone who claimed an iota of knowledge.  I wrote a witty profile and posted it on all the Indian dating sites.  I dated friends of cousins, friends of colleagues, friends of enemies, enemies of friends.  I did it all.  But I realize now that I did it all wrong.

Perhaps my 12 years of single life (or 16 depending on when you start counting) would have been shorter if I knew what to look for.  As a Married Mango, there are lots of qualities a husband should have that we don’t always look for when we are dating.  As a singleton, I cared more about superficial stuff – how hot, how tall, how much money, how he dances, is he cool, do my friends think he’s cool, do we go to amazing restaurants and does he take me on over the top “The Bachelor” worthy dates.  I didn’t care about reality.  I cared only about the fantasy that Hollywood and Bollywood projects about dating and romance. 

Now that I am married, I realize the dates with helicopter rides over the Golden Gate Bridge are fun but what I really need is a guy who knows how to make each and every day of our lives special.  A guy with whom I can enjoy life’s simple pleasures. Someone to have fun lazing on the couch watching sports or HGTV with.  Someone who I can cook with, garden with, roam through the farmers market with, enjoy my first cup of coffee with, pick out furniture with, sip a glass of pino grigio in the backyard with on a hot summer day, someone who blends with my family and I with his, someone to solve problems with, to deal with life’s struggles with, to make shared goals with.  Someone who can make day-to-day living just as enjoyable as running away to Paris for the weekend.  

Being married is more like The Amazing Race than The Bachelor.  There are obstacles, challenges, roadblocks, do overs all through life.  Who do you want by your side when you have to climb the mountain?  Will you carry him? Will he carry you?  Will you go hand in hand together?  That is life.  That is married life.

So on your next date, instead of gazing into the person’s eyes fantasizing about exotic vacations try to gaze into your date’s soul to see if all the superficiality were stripped away, is this someone who you can live a life with for all the good and bad that it brings.

***Follow Two Mangoes on Twitter @twomangoes and visit them online at www.twomangoes.com.  Happy dating everyone! ***

The New Indian Bride is Year Older June 7, 2011

The New Indian Bride is a year older today!  It is happy birthday to me and I intend to love each and every moment of it.  The last year was a time of immense change. I got married, changed jobs and bought a house.  My whole equilibrium for what made me a good me shifted and it took the bulk of the last birth year to find my balance again.  It took time to find my groove and realize I am a good wife (even though I don’t cook and hire someone to clean), a good homemaker, a good daughter-in-law, a good sister-in-law to My Leading Man’s five sisters, good at my new career and still a good daughter to my mom, a good big sis to my younger siblings and a good friend.  It was a lot of change, a lot of adjustment and a lot of STRESS!  So as I sit here sipping my morning coffee thinking about the year ahead, I wish most that I settle into all the changes my life has recently brought my way.  That I find a way to keep being the person I was before marriage, embrace the woman I have become since marriage and create a life that is uniquely me.  That’s what I will be wishing as I blow out my birthday candles tonight.  I might be wishing for fabulous designer digs from My Leading Man too but mostly I will be wishing for the other stuff 🙂

Is AThemed Sangeet For You? May 27, 2011

Drop “themed sangeet” into Google and you quickly discover that themed sangeets are a new and growing part of Indian weddings. There are colored themes like the all white sangeet that was part of Lara Dutta and Mahesh Bhupathi wedding festivities or the Pretty in Pink theme of yours truly.  There was the Cowboy and Indians sangeet theme featured on Electric Karma and Indian Wedding Site. Oh and what about the Mexican themed sangeet recently featured on Maharani Weddings? There are so many possibilities for throwing a theme element into your wedding. 

The question is would you do it?

Pitch A Tent! May 23, 2011

There is nothing I love more than a perfectly adorned tent at a Spring and Summer Wedding. I love pristine white tents adorned with paper lanterns and lights. I love tents drapped in exotic fabrics and dripping in crystals. I love tents with side walls of faux windows, lined with flowers or decorated with custom drapes.  I love tents of any size, any shape, any color.  I just love tents!

Loving tents can get you in a lot of trouble. Tents may not be as economical as renting an indoor facility, especially when you consider that the tent is just the ceiling. You have to fill all the space underneath the tent with tables, chairs, a dance floor, silverware, glasses and every other minor detail that would be readily available to you in an indoor facility.

For those brides-to-be whose wedding visions include a tent, here are some important points for you to consider:

Selecting a tent size: You need to determine the number of people you expect to attend your wedding. That will help you decide how large a structure you will need. Accurately sizing your tent is very important since the size will need to accommodate tables, chairs, guests and vendors comfortably, with room to walk around, mingle and dance.

Location of the tent: The tent site should be a completely flat surface, away from any standing water or areas where rainwater typically accumulates. This is key in case you will want to install a dance floor. As a safety precaution you’ll want your tent rental company to conduct a site inspection to survey the area.

Styles of tents: Push-pole Tents are the most popular type of tents for outdoor weddings. These structures are kept in place with center poles and are staked into the ground. Push-pole tents are typically the least expensive tent and work best on grass or other pliable surfaces. Sizes range anywhere between from 10 x 10 feet and up and can be covered with fabric or PVC roofs or toppers.

Frame Tents are best for tight spaces. These structures cost more than the push-pole version, because they don’t use poles to support the structure, but a frame. As a result, they can be positioned on any type of surface. Accommodating all of your wedding decorating needs.

Additional considerations: Sidewalls are a practical tent “accessory” Sidewalls are used to create ventilation or protect guests from rain or wind. Before signing a contract with a company, be sure to specify where and when the tent will need to be erected and dismantled. Typically, most companies will set up a couple of days before the event and removal is the next day (this time frame may vary due to holiday or weekend schedules).

The most important consideration of all is the weather.  Tents do not work if rain is in the forecast.  If  a tent is part of your dream wedding, then be sure to check the Farmer’s Almanac for past weather patterns.  You wouldn’t want your dream wedding to be rained out! 

Hope these quick tops help all the New Indian Brides who are pitching a tent for their wedding festivities this spring and summer. Best of luck!

*These tips brought to you courtesy of The Perfect Wedding Gude.

Happy Bloggiversary! May 20, 2011

A year ago today I took fingers to keyboard and entered the blogging world as The New Indian Bride.  What started as a way to chronicle the days leading up to my June 2010 wedding then migrated to a blog on Indian wedding fashions, florals and finery.  Today the blog is less about creating your perfect wedding day and more about the life that awaits you when the wedding day becomes a distant yet fabulous memory. 

In those first few weeks I wrote about picking my wedding lengha.  Now I write  more about making good marital financial decisions.  Instead of Indian wedding traditions, I now spend more time thinking of plants for my backyard and wine for my wine closet.  Life is ever evolving and I have loved each and every moment of my journey from New Indian Bride to The New Indian Wife. 

Thank you to my followers on The New Indian Bride and on Twitter.  There is much more to come in my story and I am grateful to have each and every one of you along for the ride. 

Raising my morning cup of coffee to each of you! Cheers!

And for those of you who haven’t been with me since the beginning, you can read my entire story starting here: http://thenewindianbride.com/page/13/

The Royal Wedding – Indian Style April 27, 2011

The New Indian Bride is completely swept up in the Royal Wedding frenzy!  I will be among the estimated two billion people glued to my television set watching non-stop coverage as Prince William and Kate Middleton marry in what is bound to be an epic royal affair.  What will she wear? Who is the designer?  How will he look? Who are the guests? Will there be any mention of Princess Diana?  Will the Queen get down and boogie? 

As we celebrate (in my case, obsess over) the royal wedding, I can’t help but fantasize about the next royal wedding.  I envision a day when Prince Harry chooses to marry an Indian Bride.  That’s right.  I am daydreaming about Prince Harry becoming Prince Harrinder as he pledges to spend the rest of his life with a British born beauty of Indian decent.  Before you gasp and say to yourselves “This could never happen!” just close your eyes and see what I see.  A shenai plays softly in the background as Prince Harrinder and his desi Bride emerge on the balcony of a marigold drapped Buckingham Palace, peacocks flown in from all over the world roam freely on the Palace grounds, the Bride’s perfectly exquisite lengha will be beyond anything we have ever seen before and the jewels will be from the Queens personal collection, including a tiara to add that perfect blend of British royal elegance to the otherwise Indian affair.  As the new Bride waves to her subjects, we will see her intricate Mehndi and her Punjabi Churra.  We will see Prince Harry, oh I mean Harrinder, looking adoringly at his New Indian Bride dressed in an exquisite Sherwani (made by one of India’s top designers, of course) worthy of the most stately of Maharajas.  

As the evening reception begins at Buckingham Palace, the guests begin to arrive.  The guest list will include dignitaries from both India and England, royal families from around the world and of course the celebrity friends of the couple.  The Prince of Denmark will talk polo with the Maharaja of Patalia, Elton John will be sipping martinis with Shilpa Shetty and Shah Rukh Khan.  Guy Richie will be hanging out with Karan Johar.  David Beckham and Yuvraj Singh will be chatting sports while munching on duck curry pate.  

Live music from British and Indian musicians will fill the Palace halls from Ravi Shankar, Malkit Singh (he is a member of the Order of the British Empire after all!), and to keep things peaceful with the Pakistanis, Rahat Fateh Ali Khan is invited to perform as well. 

The only question that remains is whether the Queen will show off her bhangra moves.

Introducing TNIB Featured Cake Artist – Natasha Amiri! April 21, 2011

For those of you who regularly read The New Indian Bride, you know how much I LOVE introducing my readers to up-and-coming wedding industry professionals.  Well today is no exception!  Allow me to introduce dazzling cake artist Natasha Amiri.  Natasha and I work together and were surprise to recently discover that we both serve weddings in our own way – me through blogging wedding inspirations and realities and Natasha through baking and designing beautiful wedding cakes!  It was a match made in heaven and we have been chatting about weddings ever since!  Now it is your turn to get to know this San Francisco based cake artist.

TNIB: How did you start baking cakes?

Natasha: My co-worker had gotten engaged, so I decided to surprise her with a cake. I went to Michaels (craft store) to shop for some cake pans and ended up staying for 2 hours, hypnotically entranced by all the cake possibilities showcased in front of me. After coming to my senses I came out of Michaels with 3 cake pans, a box of fondant and 3 shades of purple food coloring. I went to Safeway and bought 4 boxes of cake mix and began the process.   Eight hours later I had a 3 tiered cake that actually didn’t look to bad. My parents woke up and were thoroughly shocked when opening the fridge, and the same went for the my friends at work.  Everyone suggested I try making another to see what else I was capable of, and well, here I am today!

TNIB: How long do wedding cakes take to make?

Natasha: Now that I don’t make my cakes from a box anymore, and I have become a perfectionist, a cake can take anywhere from 5 -9 hours.

TNIB: Do you enjoy collaborating with Brides and Grooms to create the cake design? 

Natasha: I absolutely love the collaboration! It’s so funny that my current consultations with the wedding couples have entailed the groom having more of a say then the bride! But yes, this is one of biggest days of their lives so it’s completely invigorating to hear their family and relationship history to help them create a beautiful masterpiece which reflects all of that joy. The only hard part I would say is having the bride and groom agree! What makes it easy is knowing that your making their wish come true, and even finding a way to make their wedding cake more extravagant than they even ever imagined for their particular budget.

TNIB: What trends are you seeing in wedding cakes or what trends do you want to see more of?

Natasha: I see more and more couples veer away from the classic white; a trend that I hope continues.  It never made much sense to me to have such a plain wedding cake. Honestly, when I see those, I just feel as though it’s a blank canvas waiting for me to put my touch to it. Although I DO, and will gladly make whatever , I prefer more artistic expression. It is YOUR wedding, so why not express who you are in your cake as well? In terms of trends, I see a lot of younger couples wanting cupcakes, and of course for summer weddings I have a lot of requests for fresh orchids. You can never go wrong with fresh colorful flowers!

TNIB: Now tell us, what’s your favorite cake to eat?

Natasha: Two Words: Red Velvet!

Doesn’t that peacock extravaganza knock your socks off! Wowza is all I can say!  Thank you Natasha for gracing The New Indian Bride with your beautiful cakes.  To learn more about Natasha visit www.cakesbyshabnam.com or email her directly at  cakesbyshabnam@gmail.com.